I want to have sex with a man, Pretoria – 45

There ive said it. Admitting it to myself and putting my fantasy out in the world. I am a 45yo married white male
In my fantasy however, i fantasize about not being hard, and in a way feeling like a girl having sex as a man. Its difficult to explain, but this is what i crave, maybe this makes it more heterosexual in a way.
Me, taking on the part of the female, becoming the girl and doing what a girl does.
Ive played this part a million times in my head and i get this warm fuzzy feeling everytime i think about it. Butterflies in my stomach.
The moment where im dressed in sexy lingerie - a lace thong or boyleg with matching bra and thigh high stockings, my manhood tucked away and kept in place. Slowly walking over to you where you are sitting on the bed. Feeling like a virgin gir, her first time with a man. Watching as you get up and walk over to me and taking the lead. You leaning forward and softly kissing me, then more passionately as you push me back against the wall. My hand going down and starting to rub against the bulge in your pants, then slipping my hand inside, wrapping my fingers around your cock. Maybe you will softy glide your fingers over my panties….
After kissing i will take you by the hand and lead you back to the bed, then push you back onto it. Going on my knees in front of you, then kissing your cock through your underwear while looking up at you. Touching you before pulling your underwear down.
Tge first time being face to face with a cock, touching it, kissing it, licking it. Lifting it and taking your balls in my mouth, thinking of the cum inside. Taking your cock in my mouth, feeling it grow and get hard and sucking, wanking you till you cum.
This is just one scenario or scene, also open to suggestions of how you would want to do it. Through all of this i would prefer limp and soft, think of myself as a girl with a clit and pussy having sex with a man.
Looking for a guy that can make my fantasy come true. You should be white, clean and be able to host daytime. In anticipation of this, from today 1 May i will start wearing panties instead of male underwear. Also, i will replace my male vitamins with female supplements and breast enhancing supplements to get into a feminine mindset. Now i only need you….